 | David Burrus | | 1950-2009 |
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I can't believe it's been a year. It still seems surreal. When David's name still shows up in a chart, I feel a little stab when I see it. Everyone at United thinks of him often and misses him. We are now more often than crying, though, laughing at some retelling of a story about him. I think about him now when puling beets from my garden because he always mooched them off me when I brought them for lunch. " They're so earthy" he'd say. Love to his family and continue finding comfort in the memories of all the good he did and the love so many still feel for him. |
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I really liked this! Great job! |
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I really liked this! Great job! |
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I never knew David... but his energy and love are apparent in his beautiful family. Love you Pamela. You're in my thoughts today. Shannon. |
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Hi Dad, god I miss you like crazy. You taught me so much about life, compassion and kindness and generosity and following your bliss. I'm trying to live by it all and make you proud. Sometimes I'm not sure what to do, so I listen for your guidance, and then you're there, in my heart. I love you. Still can't believe you're gone. This is going to be a rough day, I'm already crying. I miss your big hugs and warm smile and so much more. |
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Hello David, Happy Anniversary, I thought about maybe not saying it, but realize that it should be said, Just because you are not here physically does not mean the love never existed. So, Happy Anniversary to You and Pam, I know you are with her right now so hold her tight so she can feel you.
love J |
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I love to travel and write guides for people so they can get the best experience possible |
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Hey David! Happy late fourth, looks like nobody visits you much any more. what's up with that eh?? Well, Been thinking of ya, I imagine you doing "special" things over there, helping guide someone who is learning how to be great guy like you - like my favorite movie of all, "Always",. Love that movie, love the movie "Ghost" too, funny - that movie helped me alot after Steve, because I needed the ending, I loved the comedy but I loved the ending, it gave me comfort. Now I love "Always", I like the idea of it and the ending again is special and makes a true statement, when you do let go, you don't have to "let go". Well, David keep close to your family they need you a lot , they are still learning how to deal without you and it is hard, visit them in their dreams and whisper in their ear - it helps. Love and miss you David, take care
Janna |
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Hi David, sure do miss you, and how you were the glue that held people together, I find it really sad that your sister never learned or was grown up enough to accept the love of your life, perhaps she is threatened by the pure love you had with Pam. Now she banishes her from your reunion, how do you feel about that David?? Well, probably no loss, I am sure Pam will have better things to do and better people to do them with, people who are not afraid of her and the love you two shared, people who share your love and acceptance of all. Love you David, miss you, perhaps you could have a soul talk with yous sis.
beanz |
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Happy fathers Day David, miss you
J |
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hey david , i tried. no more |
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I am very saddened to just learn of the tragic accident that took Dr. Burrus' life. I was a patient of his in 1999 with the pregnancy of our first daughter. At 24 weeks we were told by other MD's in his clinic that our daughter would not survive outside my belly once born. During one of our visits our routine MD was not available, so we scheduled a visit with him. Towards the end of our visit, he told my husband and I that he did not see what the other MD's were seeing - that he disagreed with their diagnosis. He was the one doctor that gave us hope... just hearing those words kept us going. It took a lot of courage to tell us that, he could of kept that opinion to himself, especially since it differed from his partners, but he spoke up, and it saved us..... He brought some light to our situation that had been dark for so long. We had the same news visit after visit, with no reassurance or possibility that it was something else. Our daughter was born on 2/16/99 and is a very healthy strong 11 year old today. I will ALWAYS remember him and his ability to show compassion and courage! |
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Dear Burrus Family,
Dr Burrus touched our lives here in Minnesota. I imagine you must recall moments in your own experience. For us it was the first ultrasound when our son was only 13 weeks in the womb. He said, "It's a turtle..." (a boy!)
15 weeks and 3 days later he said, "It's birth day!" Between those moments, Dr Burrus, was always a calming, reassuring, kind, gentile, and extraordinarily present and mindful person. He was right, our boy is healthy, thriving, and full of joy and strength.
I know he wouldn't want us to, but we both cried right there in the reception of his clinic when we learned we wouldn't meet him again in the halls of St Paul Children's... We feel lucky to have encountered your great husband, father, brother, grandfather, doctor... He made our journey richer, more present, more loving... Thank you so much!
"To infinity and beyond!"
Buzz Lightyear
With love
WE+M |
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I miss you so much that words cannot describe the pain and emptiness I feel right now. I think about you all the time and try to remember every detail of the last month you were alive. I love you
i miss you like no other and i cant wait to be with you again. your so missed down here and see you in my dreams. i love you daddy so SOOOOO MUCH<3
ur daughter |
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I was admitted to United Hospital almost exactly a year ago when my water broke at 24 weeks 3 days. Dr. Burrus came in with a smile, and was so kind. After talking, my husband and I discovered that he had graduated from UND like us, as well as one of our nurses. He commented that things were surely going to be fine now that we had our UND family. As the days passed, we saw Dr. Burrus off and on, and discovered that he had gone to medical school with my father-in-law, and in fact had taken karate lessons with him. Imagine our surprise that we had one more thing in common! On one of the most stressful days of my hospitalization, Dr. Burrus brought the ultrasound machine to my bedside (after I was told I was surely going to have my baby by C-section that night). During and after the ultrasound, Dr. Burrus was very upbeat and managed to make the difficult time easier. He assured me that we would not be having our baby that night. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy on 2/20/09. Unfortunately, we never saw Dr. Burrus again, but we talk of him often. He was a very important person to us during our difficult time, and he always made us feel better, no matter what news we were dealing with that day.
God Bless Dr. Burrus, and God Bless his family. |
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"What is there to do when people die - people so dear & rare- but to bring them back by remembering". Day's since.. I dont know. Pain, tears, unbearable, check. Loss, check. Still living, Check. Daughters loved, check.
When you do not think you can go on, you must, check. One foot in front of the other, make motions with the body until the Soul returns, check. Practice Gratitude & Loving Kindness, check. When dont, start over. Check.
David, my love....
Remembering....
I love...the exquisite truth of your beauty, even now.
I loved Your smile... I loved your ears. I loved your mouth & every kind and wise and funny and deep word that ever came out of it. I loved Your quiet, gentle strength. I loved how well, how deeply, you loved. I loved your joy at life, at living in the moment. I loved how Lucky you believed you were. I loved the way you would hold me. I loved the way you cared for your patients, your children & I. I loved the way you jumped off cliffs upside down & backwards. I loved how smart you were & how well you thought under pressure, Dr. Zen. I loved that you could do all of that, & save lives but sometimes putting jelly on toast was hard for you. I loved how you made me laugh & how you never moved away from the intensity or immensity of feeling that lived in me, but instead looked at it in awe & wonder. I loved how you found ways to appreciate my storms & tell me my my ugly was beautiful. I loved love with you, how deeply & unafraid you went in, well, after you road your motorcycle across 16 states to get away from me because all who knew you said I was not any good for you! I love that you chose me anyway. I loved how we could have the worst day ever, or so I would think, & you and I would look at each other and fall in love all over again and say "as long as I am with you, I can take anything & it all turns to good!" I love how rich your love made my life and how being loved by you grafted a whole new person inside of me. I loved that you let me do the same for you. I loved that for twenty years we still dated, courted & romanced each other & you still found me the most beautiful women in any room any where. I loved that we both understood the human heart & the biology there in & neither of us went crazy on the other for natural crushes or feelings of connection that occur between people, we just allowed each other to be who we were & to Love each other more deeply. I loved the crazy way you danced & how happy you would get over the song Mustang Sally or the Beach Boys. I loved it when every spring you would be surprised all over again at the melencholy mood which would bloom from you, the only time ever you were sad. You would puzzle at it & play your guitar & sip brandy & smoke cigars & wonder where that sadness came from & when I would share my thoughts with you on this, or anything, you always believed in what I brought to you. What I brought to our table was of value to you. I loved that you never complained about anything, or any one. You could work all day, all night, give immensely, save lives & come into our home with a smile & a heart ready to love & you would whistle while you worked wether it was cleaning toilets or sewing a circlage, which you came to not agree with entirely but would find the good in or the use of. I loved how much you believed in respeceting people, all people, respecting their stories & their right to choose & how humbly & unassuming you lived this. I loved how you loved our children & no matter what they were doing, you would tell me they were going to be alright. I loved the man you were & how deeply you loved & respected women. I loved Italy with you & all of our secret lovely rendevous that we adventured on for twenty years. I loved talking with you & listening to you.
Okay... enough for now. Just had to say, again, I love you.... See More
ps...
I loved the story of you as a boy in yellow slickers & rain boots, jumping puddles & choosing to believe you were a duck, because ducks made you smile.
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have fun At Micheal jackon concert with Tim Nixon
<3 you both lotsssss :)))) |
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i love u daddy and miss you lots, forever and always
<3 ur daughter |
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Merry Christmas David, we love you - we miss you terribly - we love you
Merry Christmas David.
love Janna |
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I stumbled on this tragic news after a recent dream I had of going back into Dr. Burrus' office back at the Anchorage Neighborhood Health Center after being pregnant again at 43. It inspired me to write him a card of thanks for the wonderful care he and his staff provided me through 3 babies in 1987, 1990 and 1992. So sad the card will never reach him....
We had a deal that baby #4 would be free of charge as he was unable to attend any of my births. We didn't take him up on that "bargain" as we seemed to have our hands pretty full with 3.
Reading all the comments from those who knew him it is obvious how he touched so many lives with his kindness, soft-spokeness, sense of humor and gentle spirit. He worked wonders to alleviate the nervousness, uncertainty, and fear of this then 20 year old pregnant young woman.
I can still picture him sitting in the chair in my hospital room holding our firstborn Jennifer in one arm with her head cradled in his hand, rubbing her head with the other hand commenting on her "blonde peach fuzz." He gazed at her as if she were the first baby he had taken part in. He was truly a special guy.
Pam, I remember you from his office on Anchorage. My prayers go out to you and the family you shared. I am inspired by the things you have written. It is clear that the two of you had a very special love that will go on forever..... May God provide you with the comfort, peace and hope you will need to get through each and every day. |
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I echo Janna's comments. Your still so missed in this world. You left a void for so many that will never, ever be filled. There is no joy this Christmas for my little sister and family you were called away from so soon, God must've needed you badly. Rest in peace, I find you running across my mind sometimes, good to think of you. You were a special, special man. Karl
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Hello David, well, it is now 3months. You have truely left your mark upon this mortal world. So many people you touched and changed, so many. what is the measure of a life? it is measured in what is left behind in the hearts and souls of those who you were able to touch and enlighten. These pages show how you are measured, and it would appear the instrument of measures is far to short for you dear david. Carry on david, and know that you will never be lost or forgotten on this mortal world for you are loved dearly by many. Do they have any good red wines there?
fly with the angels david. miss you and love you.
Janna Schroeder |
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Pam and family,
Thinking about you all so much. I had a dream about David last night, he was walking thru the hallway with a man I didn't recognize. I was surprised to see him in the dream and said " David, how's it going?!". He smiled big and said "It's great, I'm just showing the new guy around" |
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Pamela and family,
Yesterday, I received the tragic news of Dave's death. He was the MFM fellow during my first two years as an OB resident at Bowman Gray. I believe the two of you had just arrived from Alaska via motorcycle as newlyweds. We were all quite impressed by the spirit of this endeavor (as uptight southeasterners can be). We all had a lot to learn from him. My recollections follow.
His voice was kind, his smile was warm and his mind was brilliant; his demeanor serene. A true mentor, he was able to listen and respond in a way that guided his students to their own conclusions. If mistakes were made, he was never judgmental. Always willing to replay how you may have done it differently without being harsh. The Zen Master.
I will always remember the day Dave empowered me as a lowly, miserable intern to know that despite its abuses, residency wasn't prison; that I did have a choice about whether to continue or quit. So I continued.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences which I know do nothing to make your loss any easier. I hesitate to write this and realize that in many ways, I am doing it selfishly as my own grief and sadness are fresh. Just wanted you to know that there was yet another life enriched by your husband's presence. |
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Dr. Burrus was truly my hero. I became pregnant and was paraplegic - in 1989. He was the only doctor willing to let me try to give natural birth...and stuck by me through my ENTIRE 36 hour labor when I feared that another doctor wouldn't be supportive. He delivered my son, and two years later, my daughter - and I'm SO SORRY to his family. A man who can give so generously to essential strangers must have been AMAZING with his own family (who has also been amazing for letting him be so devoted to his patients over the years). Please be assured that there are huge amounts of people across this world who thank him - and you - everyday - and I'm one of them. |
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I am so saddened to hear of your loss. Doctor Burrus delivered by daughter in Anchorage, Alaska, September 1988. It was one of the good one. Remember Proverbs 3:5-6. |
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I've just learned of Davids passing and I am so shocked by the news.What a wonderful man.I didn't know that much about him other than he was on my planes alot,sat in the same seat generally and would be wearing scrubs on occasion.I always looked forward to seeing if he was commuting on my flights.I can't believe he won't be there to have his glass of red wine.David always seemed to have a smile on his face.Pam and family I know that you are the reason for his quiet happiness.There are many of us at the airline who are immensely sad to hear of his passing.
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i miss like i've never miss anyone in my whole entire 17 years of bein alive.
he was the one who always says everytings gonna be okk and he always makes me smile when im sad or upset...
he was the best father i've ever had an im so thankful that i got to experience all the things i didnt know my 5 year bein here....
he always have such good advice on anything like boys. he once told me that i or every girl deserve to be a princess and if the guys that we dated dont treat like a princess then we should just let them go even if we think they were out soulmate or lovers...
i miss you daddy :( and i will always think about you and i love you forever. i cnt wait to see you again.
<333 |
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Dear family and friends of Dr. Burrus,
I am a former patient of Dr Burrus and I was deeply saddened when I heard the news. I first met Dr Burrus when I was pregnant with my first child and hospitilized at 24 weeks gestation, my son was born at 27 weeks and although it was a struggle he is a wonderful, healthy, 3 year old. It was Dr. Burrus who gave me the strength and courage to have another baby and last year I delivered another healthy baby boy at 33 weeks gestation. I could not have done this without Dr Burrus's expertise, compassion, and excellent bedside manner. He lifted my spirits each and everyday that he cared for me in clinic and during my 20 day hospital stay prior to my delivery. He was so much more than a doctor. I am pregnant again with my third child and although I was so upset to hear of his passing, I could hear his voice telling me to relax and stay calm because it would not be good for my baby. I am very nervous about this pregnancy but I know that he will be watching over me and my baby. He is a wonderful man and he will be missed by all who were blessed to have known him.
My deepest and heartfelt condololences to his family.
Kelly Marr-former MPP patient |
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To the family and friends of Dr. Burrus,
Because of this kind, intelligent and extraordinary man, we are the smitten, first-time grandparents of a healthy, enchanting 2-year old, former premie, Ruby. Our daughter's water broke when she was 23 weeks, 5 days pregnant and Dr. Burrus expertly, compassionately and I believe, spiritually, guided our daughter through the next 9 challenging days,until Ruby was born at 25 weeks at United Hospital in St. Paul. My husband (who, incidently is a neonatologist from another city)and I will always remember how Dr. Burrus calmly guided the labor and delivery of our 1#9oz. miracle and somehow, almost magically made Ruby's birth seem like a perfectly normal birth. The love and awe that filled the delivery suite that Friday night will long be remembered, and it was Dr. Burrus' comforting presence that set the tone.
Imagine my surprise, as I read through the blog, that Dr. Burrus was from Bismarck. As it turns out, I was a sophomore at Bismarck High School at the same time he was a senior! Little did I know, that one of my schoolmates would contibute to one of the greatest joys of my life.
Thank you Dr. Burrus. Your life brought life, and for this we are profoundly grateful. And though we knew you for only a short time, you will always hold a permanent place of respect and appreciation in our hearts.
Sincerely,
Janet (Johnson) Johnson |
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United MPP Clinic is dedicating our family room in the clinic to the memory of Dr Burrus. This room is available to anyone who needs a quiet place to go.
We thought this would be the perfect place to remember Dr Burrus because listening and caring for others was so important to him. The clinic staff is lovingly adding our special memories of David Burrus to this room.
We are putting together a scrapbook of memories. If any of his patients have pictures of him with their babies, we would love to add them to the book. Please send pictures to:
MPP Clinic
347 No Smith Suite 204
St Paul, MN 55102 |
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The Cycle of Love, Loss & Living in the prescence of Death.
I miss him more then could ever be fair. Not that life is meant to be fair. Please do not tell me to be thankful, as I already am. Even when I am in agony, and angry, and beyond sad, I get how lucky I was to know love to the level that David and I knew love together and for one another.
This knowing, it does not change the unbearable grief that now lives in me.
I will always be thankful for having loved and been loved by him. He taught me how to love myself. He loved me into a full and healthy, well loved Woman. He showed me such love that my love for him, myself & the Divine grew. In this love the capacity for more love and more loving of all grew. He and I were of the deep belief that Love is much bigger, more vast, more all inclusive and giving then our current paradigms which we live actually represent. I am ever thankful for his Love and with this will always choose the path of love.
Within a love this deep lives a loss just as deep. This it seems, I have to allow for as it comes with the territory. I now have a new roomate, named grief, that I apparently now permanately live with. I know our love is here. I know the spirit of him is near. It is not the same. It does not fix the pain, the loss, the missing at not being able to look him in the eyes, feel his kiss, make love with him, be held in his arms, hear his voice, sleep near, laugh, talk, recieve a cup of morning coffee from, walk long wild ways with, get lost & explore with.
Exploring the he of he, the me of me, the we of we and the world with him, the strangeness of being human all in conversations that lasted for hours or through a simple knowing glance to the other, this part, this is gone forever, living only in my memory. Even if he is in energy form with out his body, I can tell you, that does not take away the love or the physical longing, agony & connection he and I both feel or our dispair at this forced seperation.
My friend and neighbor Ursula, she is 87, she lost her love in her 40's. She lives well, has loved a time or two again, has danced, been a teacher and rasied their two adopted children. She still crie's over Paul, her love. Now she cries occasionally with me. A few days ago, between phone calls regarding all the matters and business that accompany a death of this sort, I found myself in a heap, alone, on our bedroom floor crying uncontrollably. Crying to the point that you can not tell what is what or who is who and you feel like you are bleeding from the inside out in every cell of your body. I heard nothing else but my own howling sobs. I felt nothing but my own terminal pain. I do not know how long I was in that state I just know the moment when I felt an arm wrap around me. I was crying so hard I could not see or even get my eyes fully open. I managed to finally bring into focus a white sleeve and then I heard her, felt her lower her 87 year old body to the ground with me and wrap herself around me and cry with me saying "I know honey, I know." David and I live in a three story, crazy cut up house. My nieghbor friend had to hear me, outside of our home, knock or ring the bell, get no answer and choose to follow the cry into the house, around the corners, down the stairs to our bedroom. She then had to have a courageous heart & choose to open the door I was sobbing behind, walk into that level of dispair and then choose that even if she was not sure of anything else she was sure that I was in need of something and she was going to try and show up for whatever that might be, knowing she could not fix it, but she could hold me. After some time of this, tears done, grief cycle complete for the moment, she stayed on our floor and rubbed maggie's belly then got up and offered to walk her for me. After all that she went on her way saying, "I am always just across the street."
My other friend, she lost her love, six years ago. She is still a widow, she still longs for him, cry's over him. I met her a year and a half ago sitting on a park bench eating lunch between her work day. First day we met, still strangers, D still alive, I sat with her and cried with her over her loss. I do not remember how or why, I just know she was there, I was there, eating some chicken, and some how our hearts guided us to talk to one another, take some interest in another for no truly apparent reason. I remember listening to her love story. I love Love Story's, so did David. I remember being touched by her love for her dead husband and crying with her at times. I remember speaking of my love and going home and hugging him close and telling him of her & her dead husband. I remember asking her, being very interested in if he still visits her, in spirit or energetic form. He does.
Some people are mean to her, I think. They talk of her and her mourning and judge her out of ear range, saying "he has been dead for over six years!" So unkind as well as a projection of their own inablility to deal with our certain mortality.
These woman, these will be me. Someday, some stanger, some woman will find me on a park bench, remembering, mourning, and I may be in my 60's or I may be in my 80's and people will be able to say, "he died like 20, 40 years ago, get over it!" But mourning, grief & loss have a life of their own, and time is all relative and love, well please, LOVE?.... no one has any answers or right to judge another's heart or their love or how long, deep, wide that love goes or the pain that accompanies such a loss.
I share this with you in hopes that you will do two things;
1) Dont. Dont judge, any thing, but especially anothers love, how it came to be or how it has left or if it has left refrain from judging the cycle of their own immense grief and loss.
2) If you are in public and you see a stranger, a person, broken, on a bench or in a parking lot ( as I was for several hours on Thursday) simply go up to them, do not try to get them to speak to you or to give you permission to be there, do not get to close, just find the right distance from them and sit down beside them and say "I see it might be hard for you to speak right now, I just want you to know there is another person beside you, here with you, if you need that." I swear on everything that is of love, if a stranger had been able to do this for me at any time in the last 38 days I would have known they were connected to the calling of that moment's universal heart. I have a need to keep going, I have children, I have work that I must attend too. I am aware of the deep need and truth that to live through this I must create some order and balance in my daily life. I have to exersize, shop, meet with people directly involved in the continuation of mine and our children's welfare. Bank people and pathologists and a million other things & people that I must attend too. Because of this I sometimes have to leave my home, leave my circle of friends and my community that know that my love has just died. I am learning that grief has a cycle all it's own and does not give you a schedule. When it arrives in full cycle you must heed it and there have been several times when I am out, trying to be strong, trying to get things done, when the grief opens and destroys me. If I could manage to make a phone call at those moments, call a friend, I know one of them, one of you, would come. However, those moments, when you are in the center of them, making a call of any kind is impossible. You simply have to buckle down, sit in and hold yourself while the storm of grief wipes out the entire nation of you. If at this time, when the only thing I can say, and it is a thought not a word, all I can say is "please God" if at this time, a stranger came and sat by me, it would matter, it would matter very much. Something about those deep grief moments feel as though you are more alone then any one can possibly concieve, unless you have personally been there. To have a stranger, safely, calmly, simply sit close and say "I am here with you" would some how tell me, or another, that we are not alone in that awful darkness.
This week I have been dealing daily with all the work, all of the business of death. I have also been raising our daughters, trying to make time to exercise, laugh, cry, write, meet with friend's, find moments to be thankful for something outside of myself and my experience, create a Living Trust & a Will, working on adopting our precious daughters & grieving all at once. I have also had to come to terms with the following; that is that I will cremate my love this Tuesday at 11 am.
I will go with the attendent who will take his body to the crematorium. I will wait the five hours it will take to cremate his 5 foot eleven inch 165 pound frame. When I leave there on Tuesday I will have the ashes of David's physical form in a container with me.
I have asked my friend Susan to wait this precious wait with me. I have taken this long to do this for many reasons, possibly even more then I am aware of. One that I am certain of is the finality of that day. Even though he is no longer in his physical form, he is physically dead, I still know he is at Lesneski's Mortuarary. I still know that I can go there and see him, or, I can close my eyes and see him as he was the last time I saw him there. In my pain & loss, in my shock & trauma there has been a sense of absurd comfort in this.
There are a million connections that occur between true lover's when you have shared 19 years together. One of them is the pleasure, the familiarity, the love & knowing of every curve & line of their face. The line of his beautiful jaw. The crest at the top of his full lips. The incredible angle, and slope of his nose. His beautiful hands. His body, every corner of it. His immense, warm & lovely smile. His big and lovely ears! I have loved his ears forever. His crazy, funny hair or the line of where he has shaved it away because it is one of the parts of his body that he has never been happy with. Things that as young lovers you spent hours memorizing and as seasoned lovers you took great joy, pleasure & relief in being able to see them. In fact, the moment you did see them, your body instantly felt relaxation, pleasure and love, as we are all such pavlovian creatures and if this is part of your million moments together then this is the natural flow, the conditioning that your biology naturally perpetuates and feels. After this Tuesday I will never look upon any of David's beautiful features again. I will be faced with the finality, the perfect imperfect mortality of our body's & live's as shown to me first hand by my love. This has been unbearable to come to terms with.
Two other factors for me were dealing with trying to donate his body to science as was his deep wish, and, trying to create a final piece of art, from his physical form, that would cast his hands or his torso or his profile.
I was trying to meet his deep wish to be donated to science or to be gifted to stem cell research. I have been unable to do this for him as the hospital that he died in refused our right to have this done.
The piece of art? Well, as has been my course of late, I am forced to surrender to the natural order and to let this go too. I am choosing to ask my new friend to create an alternate piece of art that will be partly made from his ashes. The artist I will employ is a beautiful soul who has held death in his own arms and understands the work I am asking of him. In one of my darkest moments I believe David spoke through him to guide me. In the course of this week I did meet several, kind, wonderful caring people in my search to meet my love's wishes. One was Nina with the Body Donar group out of Western University, her openness met my need and her wisdom guided me to the chain of events and people that finally led me to Dr. Schwartz. Dr. Schwartz, the leading expert in the field of Stem Cell Research was a tremendous help as well. Both of these professionals, as strangers, opened their hearts to David and I over the telelphone. They cried with me, laughed with me, listened and guided me. It was Dr. Shwartz on Thursday after my parking lot grief weep who called & said to me, as he cried with me, " I honor your persistance, I am certain my wife would have shown the same persistance for me if my whishes were to be unmet, however, you have done everything you possibly could, and more, and it is time for you to let his physical body go." I thanked him and asked him this last question, ever the seeker of the glass half full girl, I said "David has a grandson being born in November. If his daughter and son-in-law agree, can his umbilical cord be donated to stem cell research in David's name, and therefore his blood line will be directly connected to the continuing research or saving of another childs life?" He paused for a very long, pregnant moment and as he exhailed he said "Yes!" then added "good work!" I have to say we laughed out loud at that moment, after all, this was the very first YES I had been given in 36 days.
This week I have written daily, recording this incredible, awful, heart breaking experience. David loved my writing and so wanted me to write more & allow my writing to be published. One of his last texts to me, the day he died, was of him saying "please publish your stories of loving kindness."
I am writing my love, for you, for us, for our children, for lover's every where.
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I am a former patient of Dr. Burrus. My condolences and heartfelt sympathy go out to his family, friends and co-workers. He was the doctor I saw most often at MPP/United. He was the doctor on the consult when I had my 20 week ultrasound and the indications were that I was having a Down Syndrome baby. He was kind and didn't once mention the ugly "abortion" word like so many others. It told me a lot about the kind of man he was. I only knew him for a brief period in my life, I was truly saddened by this loss because the medical community won't be the same without him. There are few doctors like him these days. . the ones that take time to listen and care and help without you feeling rushed or hurried along. Thank you, Dr. Burrus for being a wonderful "old-fashioned" doctor. I appreciated your kindness and expertise. MPP will not be the same without you.
Yvonne |
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Pamela, I did not know David, but meeting you and seeing and hearing the love that you shared was inspiring. I read the tribute to him and I see why he was loved by all
and such a wonderful person. |
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Well Dr Burrus......
Its been 1 month..... it feels so empty without you here. I know your in good hands and watching over us all. But... again... it doesn't make it easier. We ALL miss you so much. Please stay beside your loving BRIDE... she needs you now and forever. Miss ya... |
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I have been the Willed Body Program Director at Western University of Health Sciences for 11 years. My first experience with death was when I was 10 and my Father was Killed In Action in Vietnam. In eleven years of receiving calls from surviving next of kin, I have never experienced such profound grief for the loss of a loved one.
Today I received a phone call from Pam. We spoke for maybe 20 minutes. After I hung-up the phone, all I could do was weep...close my office door and weep for this family and this great humanitarian and his loving bride and their blessed and ever so lucky (because you knew him) friends.
I don't understand how I feel so empty and emotionally exhausted for people I have never met.
I pray for some sense to this unbelievable tragedy, some sense and peace. |
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To the family of Dr. David Burrus,
Back in May of 1989, I entered Providence hospital in Anchorage, AK with a 38 wk high risk pregnancy and met Dr. Burrus, who was filling in for Dr. Bill Compton, my regular doc that day. I remember Dr. Burrus coming into my room and while making small talk he reached across my tummy, grabbing the blanket, whipping it across the bed, revealing my very swollen, pregnant belly and with a mock gasp he said, " Oh my God !!! ... you're pregnant!!!
"As usual, I cannot resist a smart alec remark myself and blurted back, " PLEASE don't tell my husband !!" We both had a nice chuckle over that.
That "38 wk pregnancy" is now our 20 yr old son Thomas, who is also now a three year cancer survivor. (Dx with stage 3 Hodgkins Lymphoma in Feb '06.)
I even have a picture of Dr. Bill Compton and Dr.David Burrus performing my c-section, together in the O.R. that May 23rd morning of 1989, pasted in Tom's baby book.
May your family find peace and comfort in the many days ahead. My prayer is that by reading these stories of Dr. Burrus, you will have a strong sense of what he meant to his patients and of the way he was a remarkable and very smart caring professional, trying to make a difference in the lives of all he touched.
+++ May his memory be eternal.+++ |
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To Pamela and Family,
Such a great man... great friend, amazingly gifted practitioner. Loved conversations with him,picking his ever so interesting brain, sharing family stories, discussing world problems. My friend "Bob" teaching me a greater knowledge of the Perinatal world we work in. I was always wondering and asking when will your book be published?. He had such a wonderful passion for life and people. He was given many gifts that shared with all the people in his life and had a way of making everyone feel special. He touched my life in many ways. I worked with him at United Hospital in Labor and Delivery as an RN and he delivered my last baby on 11-14-02. I have a home movie of that birth and Dr.Burrus doing one of the many things he was so great at... delivering babies and taking care of complicated women!! Now thats a true gift. I cherish that movie even more now.
Dr.David Burrus... A Great friend, a great doctor, a great Humanitarian will be forever loved and missed. |
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I did not know Dr. Burrus, but he was to deliver my granddaughter in November. I wanted the family to know I appreciated his kindness to my son and his wife and that you truely can feel honored by the grace he extended to people and the caring touch he shared in their stories of trials and success, him being one of them. He will be long remembered. May the Lord comfort all of you as that is His promise, forever and ever.
Thank you again and my family sends you love. |
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one of the great memories i had with my dad was when we both were in our family living room having a contest on who can do most tricks. he would always moved his ears like a bunny an i would do the thing where i roll my eyes!!!! but there are alot more great memories i have with me of my dad bcz he was an amazing father anyone could ever have. i love an miss him!<3 |
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I had the pleasure of working with “Dr. B” as I started calling him, initially at the Anchorage Neighborhood Health Center in Anchorage, AK, and later in private practice. I’m so heartbroken to hear of his death. I haven’t been able to write on his website because I’m still in such disbelief and denial. It feels like there is too much to say and it would not do him justice anyway. My sincere condolences to Pam and all of Dr B’s family. I can not begin to fathom what you are going through. May God embrace you and surround you with comfort and love.
As I read the entries, especially of his co-workers…..it could be me writing it 20 years ago. He made work so much fun, and he was relaxed and easy going. Yet he worked hard and was serious about his patients and his work. His patients adored him. My sister was one of his patients, and he delivered both of my nieces here in Anchorage. They are now 22yo and 19yo. I was present for both deliveries, and he was absolutely amazing. One of her deliveries was extremely premature, and he was so calm and reassuring. It was as if her delivery was the only event going on in the entire world.
He wanted everyone, each and every single person, to be happy, healthy, secure, and successful. I am certain he is in Heaven, cheering the whole world on, just as he did here on Earth!
To Dr. B……Vita, you and I made quite a trio in our satellite clinic. We had so much fun and took such good care of our patients. I still have the kitty coffee cup you gave me, and the picture Sue painted. I kept track of you through Vita. I’ll miss you, knowing you are not here to make the Earthly World a better place. Luv, Susie
P.S. Perhaps you could assist me with a “5 year plan” from up above….you always made sure I had one! |
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So Sorry for your loss I hope everyone can live on with happy memories of David. A friend of Karl, Janna and Paul. |
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Dear family and friends of Dr. Burrus,
I am so sad to learn that Dr. Burrus has left our presence too early. My two sons were his patients. He cared for my twins and by his care they survived until birth.
At 18 weeks I was rushed to the perinatal clinic. Dr. Burrus identified that my little Milagro would not make it past birth but that he had to live until that very day to save his little brother. Dr. Burrus delivered this news to me and my husband with such honesty and grace. He educated us and ensured that we participated in every decision about our twins. We knew that he came to us from LA each week and we refused to have our boys seen by anyone but him (not that we did not like the other doctors at the perinatal clinic, we just could not accept anyone but Dr. Burrus from the day we met him).
As Dr. Burrus advised, our little Milagro did save his brother's life as he lived until his brother breathed his first breath. That little boy is now 6 years old and we spread Milagro's ashes off the coast of California just this summer. I cannot imagine my pregnancy without the kindness of Dr. Burrus that carried us through.
I remember asking Dr. Burrus, what he would do if it were his wife laying on the table in the sonogram room with the news he had just given me. Dr. Burrus paused, thought a moment and replied. It was clear that he seriously considered my question about his wife and I could see the love in his eyes. It was at that moment that I learned of his integrity, sincerity and commitment to his work and I knew that we would make it through.
My family is truly blessed to have had Dr. Burrus in our lives from weeks 18 to 32. Now, six years later (nearly to the day), we look back and it seems like such a blip of time. Yet, it seems like yesterday that he pointed to the sonogram screen and “took care of business” for our boys (in true Dr. Burrus fashion, it appears from reading all of the other beautiful tributes to him). For a man that we knew for just 14 weeks, he had a phenomenal impact on our lives that we will not forget.
We have been touched by his gift and are so very grateful to him for that. It is clear that he touched many lives, saved many lives, and has many little angels to look after him.
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Dear Pamela and Family,
I just heard of the news a couple of weeks ago of DB. I am so truly sorry of your loss. DB was a great person and a wonderful Doctor. Every morning when he was here in Minnesota, he would come through the front door and smile really big and say "good morning" to me. He had a million watt smile that could brighten any day and any morning. It was a pleasure to work with him. I also liked talking to you Pamela when you would call the front desk and ask for him. It's truly a sad moment. He will be missed by so many. Pamela, you and your family are in my prayers.
Much Love to you all,
DeeAnna |
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Sorry for the way my letter to the blog site regarding Deborah Murphy posted.
I am thankful for all of your love, all of your sharing, all of your stories regarding my love. I find some element of kindness and salve during this horrendous time in each of your stories. I am trying to help prevent another death, another horrible loss of some one's husband, some one's love, the father or mother of another child. I do not know where or how yet, I am simply beginning. My hope is that David & I can create some positive change for the higher good, from this devastation.
Please do keep sharing your stories of love, honor and humor of my love.
Pamela Burrus |
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Pamela Burrus
My husband, David Burrus, was recently killed while crossing, with the help of a cross walk, on Sepulveda & Century in LA. The light in the cross walk was burnt out as well as there seem to be multiple concerns for this particular corner. He died the evening of Sept. 2nd. The news immediately ran an early morning story, Dr. in mercedes kills Dr. jay walking. They were wrong. Witnesses saw him in the cross walk. My husband was a cross walk guy, as well as one who only took smart calculated risks. I have been on this corner. It is posted as a 40 mile per hour speed limit. Almost none are going 4o, it is more like 60 plus. Even the live sig alert clocks the drivers there at 65 to 7o.
I, our children, the medical community, family and friends every where are overcome with the senseless tragedy of the loss of David. My husband always worked actively, quietly, for the higher good. I am choosing to believe there is some higher good that is ment to come from this horrific loss. I am looking to find out how many other pedestrian injuries and deaths have occurred on this corner, how many speeding tickets are issued there, what is actively being done to create a change which will protect pedestrians and quite possible prevent another death.
Pamela M. Burrus
wife of Dr. David R. Burrus
http://www.lovingdavidburrus.com
David was an advocate for safer streets. Cars scared him. He was very excited that we had just chosen a second home, in NYC on Roosevelt Island, where the 5 mile Island has limited personal car use and a bike lane around the entire island. He was working on suggesting a plan in Laguna Beach Ca, where our first home is, to allow for a parking area on the canyon and a busing system which would commute people into and through the town.
http://la.streetsblog.org/2008/04/30/streetfilms-a-rush-hour-conversation-with-deborah-murphy/#comments |
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Dearest Pamela and family, I just got home from Europe today and got the tragic news about DB (as many of us called him at MPP). I am still in shock.
As has been said many times here, he made it clear each and every day that he was wildly in love with his Darlin' Bride. He always spoke lovingly and joyfully about his children and grandchildren.
My Job as an RN at MPP will be so much less without him. there will be no song of the day anymore. If we didn't know all the words he'd look them up for us and we'd all sing it all day long. I always knew that when David was in the clinic we'd be laughing. Sometimes down right giggling. What a terrible loss. Worse that that though is the loss to our patients. Whenever we had a very discouraged patient I'd say "I wish DB were here. This patient needs his pep talk". He had such a gift of knowing how to make a patient proud of her accomplishments in caring for her baby.
The world is so much less without him, as you know better than any of us who were lucky enough to work with him.
My heart is broken for all of you. My prayers will be for peace and comfort for all of you.
God Bless you |
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I am thinking of your family as I learned of the news just today about Dr. Burrus. He was a big part of my experience two years ago at United Hospital while I was there on bedrest and soon there after delivered by third baby 11 1/2 weeks premature. He made such a frightening experience a little "lighter." I am so sad to hear of this news. He was a GREAT doctor and person. |
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A Burrus story: We were pushing for a long time with a young mother. She would push really hard throughout the contraction then collapse into the bed, spent. After a while, Burrus said, "You must have been a horseback rider." She pulled herself up on her elbows, eyes opened wide and asked, "How did you know?" "You have very well developed perineal muscles." Chuckles all around. |
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